Let it crumble
all of you that is you

the endless theater
of the painted forms
of your life
the props were
all acquired, borrowed

and see what is behind
the heavy red velvet

a stage lamp that shines
eternally
the silent sound
you know you
AH
home.

The droplets like rain
don’t move anymore
they are still

and form a dense matrix
of crystalline branch refractions
the quantum chains of light
the reverent mother of all

inner space
is the same as outer space now
a bursting butterfly nebula
that has no creator

solipsistic expression squirting
oscillating light particles

ooo they don’t like to stay alone
they gravitate toward each other
like amoebas in a petri dish

wanting to merge and multiply
procreation of bliss
that has no
experiencer

the cosmic soup of no less than
the alpha and omega god particle
chains make up all space

my chubby but still strong curvy body
my spicy dry french bread sandwich
my fearful and broken and hopeful and empty full heart
the remote wooded cabin that stands beside slippery snow capped peaks
that always point toward our sun and moon

and oh
that sun is hot
you could never possibly survive

and our Source
is just one teeny light
in our real home
the phantasmagoric milky way
we are so lucky
so sacred
I bow

and even that
is just one teeny light
into limitless unfathomable space
the final act~

I can see it
I can feel it
when I look
inside

all that I am
all that I was
all that I ever will be

everything that happened before
everything that’s happening now

all of the joy of creation
and aching despair
of destruction

everything that ever will be
is just one teeny light
in the chain
that could never
bind

we just forgot for a while

but it’s time now
to recollect.

_______________

I wrote this poem on 12:01 am November 5 of 2024, election day. Have you ever been on an airplane where there’s been a tremendous amount of turbulence? The pressure of thought that you may actually lose your life becomes so intense that you look for something inside of solace.

I imagine it will be the same at the moment of death. There’s nothing outside that we can hold onto so you’re driven to your core. You get religious real quick, what is there? What are we? What is the part of us that has never changed? Is there any continuity?

I studied with an amazing Tibetan teacher, who lived high up on a mountaintop in a remote nunnery in Nepal. Sometimes at night, I actually imagine that I can still communicate with a part of him like connecting to ancestral wisdom.

I have been working in politics for so many years and had to process the karma of the painful scandals of our religious tradition. The intention was not to destroy it, but with the hopes to reform some of the things that were hurting and exploiting students, and then preserve the parts of it that were exceedingly powerful, helpful and transformative.

And in this highly personal communication with him one night, I was praying and he gave me a teaching. He said:

“You fought for a really long time against these dark forces. You’ve tried to change the world to make it better, but now at this time of your life, I want you to give up the struggle and allow yourself to see things as they truly are. Everything is inextricably made of light and has never been separate from purity.”

When he was alive, he used to say that everything that exists are expressions of light like the rays of the sun. Rest in the knowledge that you yourself are made of light and are good and so is everything and everyone else.

And then he had me turn toward space and look up into the cosmos, and I could see stars and galaxies and nebulae and supernovas, and he said… THIS is the world. This is what you’re part of- don’t forget it’s amazing and fantastic and filled with nothing but light.

This teaching was a gift and these recent images from the powerful new James Webb Telescope have reminded me where and what we really are in this universe, proving visually, that all of his words are true.

We are part of an amazing and rare magical creation of light and space, that knows no limit or end. This universe is warm and creative, and can bear light itself.

Never forget, recognize your natural face, be confident and strong and gently blast open your being into the best within you.

All my love, all my failures, all my strength, I offer to all.