How to completely heal from narcissistic relationships or unhealthy spiritual communities
You know, in the 12 Step Program, from what I understand people often refer to themselves as a “grateful alcoholic.” The reason is, that by having something really intense to go through and heal from in a human life, catapults us into a real, dark and dirty spiritual path of evolution. We could say the same thing for anything that hurts us, breaks us and indeed as the saying goes- “if it doesn’t kill us it’s going to make us stronger.”
I grew up, raised by a full spectrum narcissist and I have spent the last 15 years processing what that means and healing that within myself. The result of being raised by someone like this is you can be exceedingly sensitive, have chronic grief, and wind up magnetizing these people into your life again and again. It’s a subconscious familiarity called a “trauma reenactment.” It’s similar to if a woman grew up with an alcoholic father, without treatment she as a “wounded healer” might marry someone very similar and re-create that family dynamic.
I also found that I would seek out spiritual communities to “re-parent me” that were headed by a covert narcissist. This means that someone acts super spiritual, charismatic, magnetizing and holy, with false promises. However, like a wolf in sheep’s clothing you have a conscienceless, ruthless, predator at the core that will use you for everything, “extract your essences,” and if and when you wake up to their games, they discard you. Covert narcissists have an inflated sense of superiority and grandiosity and can gravitate towards being the heads of spiritual organizations or positions of power and control.
I’m on a number of narcissist healing forums, and have spent countless hours searching out the best support system and healing modalities. If you find that you may have been the recipient of narcissistic abuse or trying to leave a relationship or marriage to a narcissist or an unhealthy narcissistic community, I hope these resources will be of help to you.
Narcissistic abuse can break us into uncovering self love and learning our value and boundaries, and we can not only heal completely… but thrive. I feel sad, pity for them that they are so damaged, without treatment, they have no real hope for happiness in this life. It’s hardwired into the psycho-dynamics of a narcissist that they blame everyone for their shortcomings and never, ever seek treatment. Their lives are sad, lonely, hollow vacuums of lovelessness, power and control, using everyone and everything to uphold their damaged self esteem. When exposed, they can be conscienceless, cruel and retaliate with utmost viciousness. Hopefully through education and some of the modalities below we can protect ourselves in every way, learn grow and heal and never again be vulnerable to unkind, damaged and predatory people or organizations. Self love is the key, take back your power and live your very best life possible!