Apocalypse Now- A Visit from My Ancestors During Covid’s Fever

the fifth trumpet

Is Corona Virus the infamous plague predicted in the Book of Revelations? Well, having lived through it, I’ll give it a resounding yes.

The Fifth Trumpet
…The star opened the pit of the Abyss, and smoke rose out of it like the smoke of a great furnace, and the sun and the air were darkened by the smoke from the pit. And out of the smoke, locusts descended on the earth, and they were given power like that of the scorpions of the earth.  They were told not to harm the grass of the earth or any plant or tree, but only those who did not have the seal of God on their foreheads.…

Revelation 9:3

I ascribe more to the Vedic world view, that we happen to be in a destruction cycle, things change, we call this a KaliYuga. It is a bummer to have to live through as things fall apart with there being a lot of death and destruction caused by our karma, but as Gandalf reminds us: “All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”

I lie awake at night alone, each breath a welcome struggle to live one more second as my inflamed lungs made me feel like I was drowning. My fever was 102, I had tachycardia, my resting pulse was getting over 120, Defcon 1– full body alarm intruder warning, I could literally see the oscillating matrix of red-tinted death in space, it was intentional, alive- nothing short of the seek and destroy, inhumane, ruthless, where could it find a vulnerability, and if I wanted to give up even for a second, death would have ever so easily welcome me. Yes, I survived Covid 19, and it was a hard fight.

In my semi-altered fevered state, I spontaneously began to pray into space as I often do in the mornings and evenings. Then, I had an Obi-Wan moment, a team of my ancestral protectors appeared in front of me, vivid, clear and real. It was a panel of wisdom beings before me, my Tibetan teacher Tulku Urgyen Rinpoche, my loving grandmother who passed and my yidam, the lion headed goddess Simhamukha, and my exceedingly wrathful protector, I’d prefer not to say her name here now. I was awestruck to see them all there at once, but the quality was none-other than love, compassion and reassurance. We started to talk, or rather, they talked and I listened, the voice was my guru’s.

I asked how is it that they were appearing to me all at once and why? What I will share is now personal, but I checked in and have the green light to share here. He (my teacher) said, we are all here all the time, you don’t yet understand non-duality, so you have to practice much more. We exist as you do, all on the “same shore” behind the constructs of time and space, death and birth. We all exist collectively and are all made of the same substance of light and mind, and you thinking that you are you, and that there are “things” that are separate is just an illusion. He said that I had reached a turning point with the virus, that I was not dying from it and that I would be better in 3 days, and for me to not be in fear.

He said that I spent too much time believing that I exist and then consequently believing that others exist and this creates dualistic grasping. He said I and others waste our lives trying to remedy loneliness on social media by wanting to feel connected and “wanting something” from beings that have no one inside of them that is permanent, real and that my quest was childish and life wasting. Why would I chose to fill my life, chasing beings whose nature is empty as mine is? It wasn’t that they don’t care about beings, but my care had to now pivot from wanting something from others to clear seeing and feeling the fullness of giving. He wanted to remind me to do at least two meditation sessions per day, 2 hours in the morning, and 2 hours in the evening.

Why practice so much I asked if it is all a dream? He said that when you practice, you become a stable, open vessel for wisdom and compassion rather than blocked and “they needed me to do that.” He said that the universe was filled with love and compassion and they forgive me for my flaws. I asked them if I had harmed he Dharma or broken any vows by speaking out against women and child abuse, and they said “no, the things that you expressed concern about were valid and these teachers and monks had to simply stop their misconduct as that was harming the dharma.” I was supposed to work to continue to help to protect children who are harmed.

My teacher had very thick glasses and huge lips, and after our conversation he kissed my forehead like a loving parent, and the whole panel of my wisdom ancestors emanated love to me, took away my fear and reassured me that I would recover soon now. He said don’t sit inert, get up and move, do light yoga and practice and this will soon pass. They said that I always has access to them and that if I practice a lot more, someday all will be revealed. This is true “revelation” that indeed, inspires me most. I am alive today, woke that morning and my fever had resolved. I now tested negative for Covid and no matter how dark things seem, will start anew, giving with the fullest of hearts rather than grasping, and devote my life to the dharma, our own collective, awakened heart.


Photo The 5th Trumpet https://www.howarddavidjohnson.com/revelation.htm

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